Monday, March 29, 2010


what is marriage? ask a million people, get a million different answers, i would guess. i have yet to understand why she chose me. but i do realize the enormity of the project that has been, and is me-- a work in progress still. i scratch my head in wonder that someone from polite society would choose to take me on as her life partner. i've heard it said that marriage is a process that over time takes the rough edges off a man. it's hard for me to believe there's enough emery on planet earth to take the edges off the likes of me. i had the basics of yes ma'am and no ma'am, let me get that door for you ma'am, down i guess. any old country boy knows those things. which fork to use first was never a problem for me growing up. our table was set with one of each. no decision was needed. emily post? i had never heard of her. the mean years of my younger life were devoid of the finer things. one does not miss what one has never had. ignorance is bliss, if you will. coming up as i did is the wellspring for who i am today. there were a few times when meals were skimpy but for the most part there was enough. i learned that hard work won't kill you and that there is satisfaction in seeing what a days labor has wrought. in the middle 70's i was still very much a naive farm boy. though i had spent time in the army i knew little of the world at large. about then, a whirlwind named bonnie came blowing into my life. being swept up in the moment led me to all i enjoy today. she gave me family, wondermous sons and a precious daughter. along the way, the gentle emery that is she has taken the worst of the rough edges off me. life with her has been good. we've watched our children grow into adulthood. our son's exposed us to the pleasures of the theater, our daughter to the grace of ballet and later the symphony. i bought a leisure suit, it was 1976 after all, to be married in. now i own two tuxedos and find occasion to wear one from time to time. any refinement i may have acquired through the years comes from the infinite patience, the giving heart and the love showered on me by my bonnie. with her i've come to have an appreciation of good food and good wine. she has shown me there are foods, even good foods that --gasp-- are not chicken fried. she has taught me life's finer points. she has made me a better man. with her there for support and guidance anything is possible for me. lord knows where or what i might be had she not been my wife. i'm glad she is.

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