have you ever given any thought to whether any of the wisdoms you flung against the wall that is your child as it grows actually stuck or made any impression at all? were they even listening to, much less retaining, your efforts at passing along the benefit of your experience?
at least in the case of my youngest, i think she was listening, at least part of the time.
i received an early father's day present in the form of her latest posting on her blog.( www.monkeyheartdiscourses.blogspot.com ) her posting may well be the best pap's day gift ever.
my take on child rearing has much to do with growing up the son of a hard drinking, dry land cotton farmer. it was rare that i ever saw any hint of affection from him. i don't recall ever hearing an "i love you son" from him, or from my mother, for that matter. being raised in an affection vacuum can have a positive affect, even if the benefit is to the next generation.
the years of my youth were without the pleasantries my children enjoyed. they suffered the unfortunate circumstance of being born into a middle class family, to a dad who grew up in the meanest of situations. given that happenstance their appeals for this, that or the other thing "all the other kids had" often fell on unsympathetic ears. there is a difference between "wants" and "needs", after all. attempts to impress upon them how good they had it at 7420 were met with poorly concealed skepticism.
while they may not have been granted every wish, they did grow up in a home where affection-- hugs, kisses and "i love yous" were common.
i'm sure they all grew tired of hearing me harp on ad nauseum about how good they had it. still, it appears my favorite daughter retained some of my tired truisms and she made the old man cry in the remembering of those good old days.
thank you, baby! XOXOXO. i love you. aio