A Farewell to Ellwood...

I'll never forget the day you found me.  You were sitting at the base of an old elm tree mewling at the top of your lung, "hey mister, look down here, I need some help".  You were dressed in your best mud coat, too grimy to tell much more than you were a kitten.  I picked you up and took you home.

It was never the intent to keep you.  Lucky and Lucy were already members of the family, surely someone else would love to have a cute little marmalade kitten.  But that's not the way it went, now is it?  The first mistake I made was picking you up in the first place, the second was naming you-- Ellwood, after the park you found me in.

It wasn't long until you'd wormed your way into our hearts just as Lucky and Lucy had done.  the two of them were equal opportunity lap hogs and not at all welcoming.  What had been two were now three.  Soon it became quite evident that you were to be a mama's boy.

That was years ago, 10 or 12, in some sense a long time but miles and miles of purrs and plaintive cries to go "out" have brought us to this day.  It's been some months since Lucy left us and an even shorter time since your surgery for the tumor in your mouth.

The day we dreaded, the day we knew was coming came today.  Right or not we opted not to do chemo.  Watching your decline has been hard. It's been tough to witness your struggle. Obviously you felt like s*** but through it all you soldiered on, demanding to be let outside to lay in the sun, monopolizing your mom's lap for hours on end, keeping on, but at a snails pace.

I've resisted the idea of  "putting you to sleep". I wasn't ready. Selfishly, I wanted just one more day with you in our lives. Last night when I saw you fall off the couch I knew the time was near. This morning when I saw you lose your balance and fall off the kitchen table, then struggle bravely to right yourself, I knew the day was today.  You've suffered enough, buddy.

Holding you in our lap in the vet clinic one last time, stroking your emaciated frame, feeling you push head into my touch, hearing you purr, in pleasure or pain- who knows-- that awful moment has arrived.  We had time for a last goodbye but truth be told we've been saying goodbye for weeks.  Still, it's a sad day for us. Your memory will be with us always.  We're gonna miss your Mr. Ellwood! Be at peace.